Today I bought a ladder. As a two-time homeowner, I have never once purchased a ladder. While this might sound like an inevitable task as a homeowner, to me, this was a step.
A step into control.
Why haven’t I needed a ladder before? Perhaps one was a given to me, as some of my tools were. No, nobody has given me a ladder. The reality is that I have lived with a crippling fear of heights and small spaces. I have never needed a ladder, because I have never planned on using a ladder.
Then came this room-remodel. A 110 square foot room had 6 can lights from the 70s. Turning them on made the whole room heat up. With a large sunny window and an undersized air conditioner system, a ceiling fan was needed to make the room comfortable. With this change, going into the attic was the easiest way to remove the old wiring and put in the new. The problem is, this involved conquering both heights, and small spaces.
The purchase of the ladder added momentum to my project. Armed with all the tools I would need, a tyvek suit and a mask to keep the itchy insulation and decades of dust off, and now, a ladder, how could I not do something as easy as climbing into the attic? So, this morning, after the monumental ladder purchase, *I* went into the attic.
While I did not finish everything I needed to in the attic, I did get enough done that I can keep working on the room below until I build up the courage to go back into the attic. Today, I am proud of myself for pushing through my fears. I even managed to suppress the panic until I got off the ladder.
